OPINION: Through An Old Timer’s Eyes

by Howard ‘Mac’ McDonald

Are you superstitious? I am, at least a little, and I can lay that on my mother.

She always said that it was bad luck to lay your hat on the table or on a bed. My mother was right 99 percent of the time, so to this day I won’t lay my hat on a table or a bed. I figure I have had enough bad luck, so I obey her ground rules about hats.

If you wanted a cuff up alongside your gourd, sit down at her dinner table with your hat on. Sometimes I forget to take off my hat and when I realized that I have it on, I always say, “I’m sorry, Mom.”

As I write this, the World Series is still going on between the Texas Rangers and the San Francisco Giants. Some professional baseball players are superstitious, too. First baseman Aubrey Huff wears glitterflecked red thong underwear under his uniform for good luck. In 1987, the Minnesota Twins had Homer Hankies as a lucky charm. In 2002, the Anaheim Angels had the Rally Monkey.

Do you remember the old Green Weenie that broadcaster Bob Prince came up with for the Pittsburgh Pirates? Maybe they should bring that back, as nothing else is working for the Pirates.

I am writing this before we know the results of the general election. I will be glad when they finally take those terrible political commercials off the TV channels.

I guess the people who buy the commercials think we’re all dumbbells. The auto and truck commercials almost make you think that they are giving away new cars and pickups.

Maybe Victoria’s Secret will start putting on commercials for thongs to try to sell them to baseball players.

Remember when Broadway Joe Namath wore pantyhose when he played for the Jets? I always wondered what was wrong with long johns.

I have been sitting here for too long of a spell in front of this mind stealer and my thong is bothering me, so I think I will go put on my PJs and hit the hay.

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